Psalm 51:6, which says “You desire truth in the inward being; therefore, teach me wisdom in my secret heart,”
This past Sunday, Pastor Marta interviewed Rev. Kyndall Rae Rothaus and Robin Stretch-Crocker on Spiritual Direction. It was a lovely description of their experience as a Spiritual Director and what it is like to be a directee. We hope you enjoy this piece.
Bios:
Rev. Kyndall Rothaus and Robin Stretch-Crocker. Most of you know Kyndall and her delightful baby girls. She is also partner to church member Alivia who is in California right now doing work. Kyndall is an ordainded minister a spiritual guide, preacher, poet, and feminist theologian. She often works with people on the margins of the church, and she is particularly interested in religious trauma, feminist spirituality, mystical traditions, and the intersection of systemic oppression and soul work. She is the author of Preacher Breath and her next book comes out in 2021. She completed her spiritual direction certification through The Haden Institute. Kyndall is also founder of the conference Nevertheless She Preached that is each September. You can learn more about Kyndall at her website.
Robin has been attending BFCC for the past month. She lives in Monument, has four children and has been married for 33 years. Robin has a MA in Spiritual and Pastoral Care from Iliff School of Theology. She comes from the Catholic contemplative tradition and her ministry is called: St. Photina Spiritual Care and Direction. Her ministry is ecumenical in depth and breath and provides a safe and welcoming space for all people. She takes very seriously the privilege and responsibility of a spiritual director and the ministry of journeying with another on their spiritual path as they seek to deepen their relationship with God as they understand God (or the holy and sacred.) Robin completed her spiritual direction certification through Benet Hill Monastery. Robin also has a website where you can find more information about her and her ministry.
Spiritual Direction
M: Tell me what spiritual direction is, and how you came to be interested in spiritual direction?
K: I think if you haven’t heard of spiritual direction before, you might get the wrong idea from the title. “Direction” sounds like, well, being given directions. But really, spiritual direction isn’t about telling people what to do at all.
I think of it like this: Spirituality is a journey you take, and the terrain is made up of how you’ve experienced God, but it’s also made up of your experiences with church, with religion, things you’ve been taught to believe, ways you’ve been harmed by religion and ways you’ve been helped. All of that makes up your inner territory, and to really connect with the Divine in an authentic way, you’ve got to navigate all that terrain. A spiritual director is someone who has experience navigating the inner life, so you don’t have to figure it out alone. A spiritual director isn’t a google map who can tell you to turn left in 1.3 miles. A spiritual director is like a guide who helps you sort through your own clutter and chaos so that you can really hear your own inner wisdom.
I spent the first eight years of my career as a pastor, but over the last year and a half I’ve transitioned to working one-on-one with people in spiritual direction . . . and I like it so much better! Because I get to do really deep work with people and help them become their truest selves . . . and bonus: I don’t have to go any more church committee meetings!
R. I became interested in spiritual direction about 14 years ago when I was reading a book on discernment. The author wrote about the value of working with a spiritual director as a way to learn how to better listen and respond to God working in our life. This was something that I deeply desired, and soon sought out a spiritual director to work with...and I must say that my spiritual life and my relationship with God has been both expanded and deepened by my explorations in spiritual direction.
Having experienced spiritual direction as both a directee (the person receiving direction) and as a director, I have come to understand spiritual direction to really be about the art of spiritual companionship. It is a relationship that includes nonjudgmental and compassionate listening of sacred stories, gentle guidance, and a deepening in the ability to listen, notice, and respond to God and the Sacred (as experienced or understood by that person). It can be hard to journey alone and spiritual direction gives us a unique way to walk the path with another trusted person while seeking God and the holy in our lives.
M: What are some of the topics that come up in spiritual direction?
R. When we hear the words “spiritual” direction many people might assume that they can only talk specifically about God or spirituality, which are certainly important topics, but as Author Paula D’Arcy says, “God comes to you disguised as your life.” And so the topics that people bring to a session are as varied as the people themselves. For example, we might talk about spiritual practices or prayer, images of God, discernment of a major life decision, or social justice issues and activism…and those are great topics. But equally important are the hard conversations when someone is experiencing chronic illness, grief and loss, being a caregiver for a loved one, or mental health challenges such as anxiety and depression which are so prevalent right now. All of these life experiences can pose unique spiritual challenges, and in spiritual direction we explore these with openness and sensitivity.
Our work as spiritual directors is to create a holy and contemplative space which invites deeper reflection based on what is shared, while being mindful of the Holy Spirit’s movement throughout our time together.
K: I tend to see a lot of people who are processing religious trauma or church hurt, maybe because they were shunned by the church for being gay, or they were ridiculed for having too many doubts and questions, or because they were abused by clergy. I also see a lot of people who feel disconnected from church or religion but are trying to figure out how to cultivate their spiritual life. Some people come to me when they are dismantling their old belief systems, others come when they are trying to discern God’s call on their life, or because they are working through an issue that has spiritual connotations, such as figuring out a new sexual ethic or dismantling their own white supremacy or trying to figure out what it means to pray. I see a lot of people who are waking up to the Divine Feminine after serving a patriarchal god their whole lives.
M: When you think of spiritual direction, do any Scripture passages come to mind?
K: A verse that comes to mind for me is Psalm 51:6, which says “You desire truth in the inward being; therefore, teach me wisdom in my secret heart,” because ultimately I believe spiritual direction is about being as honest as you can be about what’s happening on the inside of you, and once you can be honest about how you’re feeling, what you’re thinking, what you need . . . that’s when wisdom starts to emerge and we’re able to live with integrity from our truest self.
M: How would you say spiritual direction has helped you personally?
K: One of the really unique things spiritual direction has done for me is introduce me to dream work. Interpreting your dreams sounds kind of hokey if you haven’t done it before, but I have been astounded at what I’ve learned from my dreams! If you think about it, dreaming is when your conscious self goes to sleep, which allows for your unconscious to speak to you. But the unconscious speaks in the language of symbols and image and story, so you have to learn the language before you can understand what your dreams are saying to you. But once you start to get a feel for it, the dream world is just a window into your psyche. It gives you the opportunity to look at your life from a whole new angle.
R. Spiritual direction has given me guidance and accountability in my own spiritual journey. There have been many ebbs and flows in my spiritual life (which are very normal by the way), and my spiritual director has been a sacred witness to it all. Spiritual direction is a safe place in which I can be transparent and authentic about my life and my relationship with God, and with my director we explore what is working and what isn’t, and how God seems to be showing up (or not) in all of it, which is something that we don’t always have in our everyday life. For me, I cannot imagine doing this sacred journey alone, and spiritual direction gives me a way to have companionship as I grow in my love for God and others.
M: And finally, if someone was interested in finding a spiritual director, how would they do so?
R. Another helpful resource is Spiritual Direction International. It is a worldwide community that advocates for, and celebrates the service of, spiritual direction. Their website has a wealth of information on spiritual direction and it also has a listing of spiritual directors from around the world. Their website is sdiworld.org.
We would like to invite you to explore this avenue of spiritual companionship if what we have shared has piqued your curiosity. And if you have any questions both Kyndall and I will be available after our church service today.