BFCC transformed the lower level of the main church building into an apartment during this year of a global pandemic. It was a remarkable project. Here is an update and our story:
I wanted to write about The Apartment Project, housing an undocumented family and our work with mission in our community over the past six months. In the spirit of one of our modern day prophet and late theologian Howard Thurman, my hope is to cultivate a community that speaks truth to power and stands with those whose “backs are against the wall.” When Thurman used that phrase in Jesus and the Disinherited he was speaking of children of color, children in poverty, children of immigrants, LGBTQ children and children in the cradle-to-prison pipeline. I am in awe of our community’s impact these past six months and the trust and love of God that has overflowed for those with their backs against the wall. We have lived into a mission.
The idea of mission is an interesting concept in western society and in mainstream Christianity. In many ways, “mission” in the church is a colonized agenda to assert our priorities and values onto other people. In other ways, for generations, American-led international mission trips, as well as local mission experiences (in this country), have been the source of faith development that change the lives of many people, particularly young people, including myself.
The definition of mission at its origin is God is a fountain sending love. To do missions and be missionaries is complicated and deserves critical engagement. We don’t simply do missions to either assert our agenda (implicit or explicit) or as simply a source of faith development. Mission defined is to send, release, or exchange. In other words, mission is not an individualistic, westernized ideology that is meant to serve us alone or to serve others with less than we have. Mission is to be engaged in a relationship with God--at the heart of ourselves and the “other.”
I know that many of us have gone on mission trips. We pack-up and travel to another community. Together, we build an out-house or fence or fix a roof. Often, the people we are doing this project for are not around. We have little contact with them, and no access to their everyday life. When the project is done and we travel home after a week, it feels great. The structure of our lives was not radically changed and we leave with our hearts full. The mission trip served us more than it served the people receiving our gifts. We may have been in a relationship with God at the heart of ourselves but probably not at the heart of the “other.”
Most of you know that a couple of years ago BFCC created a purpose and vision (found here) and that purpose and vision is God’s mission for our community. It was our way of saying that God has called us to the hard and courageous work of loving unconditionally. This mission for our little church in the forest is a process, not a final destination. It will be a mission that we are forever working on.
Last weekend, the family living in the lower level of our main building moved out. It was a hard Saturday and they were not prepared. Catholic Charities and COS Sanctuary and Accompaniment program gave them time, resources, and support to prepare them. We in the leadership of BFCC also gave them a heads up that their time was running out and they needed to prepare. The outcome was not what many of us expected or hoped for. We had to ask the family to leave The Apartment and they were not ready. None of us wanted to do that. It did not feel good in the way it does when we go to another community and then return home.
Here is what we learned:
We want to be a place for families to rest, pause, and organize. That means that The Apartment will only be a transitional home. If we are to take in other families in the future we will have a three month (max) contract. During this time, BFCC must have access to The Apartment. Other stipulations will include: approval of all persons living in the space; no secrets; no pets. We also have a desire to support financial health.
Supporting undocumented families that are living below the poverty line is confusing and that is okay. To be undocumented means that they are grounded in a different culture and lifestyle that we may not understand. Upkeep and cleaning will look and feel different than our westernized version of what is “normal” housekeep. How are we going to be in a relationship and learn about the country of their origin? What will that mean for us as a congregation? Christian hospitality does not mean that we invite others to be just like us, but rather we invite them to our space to be fully who they are and in turn that transforms us.
Trauma looks different for everyone and we all respond to trauma and difficult situations differently. Some of us fill our personal dark hole with overeating. Some of us drink too much alcohol. Some of us binge bad television. Nevertheless, when there are really difficult life experiences we all tend to want to feel better. Sometimes that means purchasing things that are too expensive or that we cannot afford - because having that thing feels good. When a family comes to live in the bottom of a church, that is traumatic and hard and also can be shameful. How will we reserve judgement, hold space, and simply love the other as a community?
Lastly, I will share my own personal experiences of shame and grief. I don’t know about you, but when I feel a deep sense of shame and grief, I cannot look anyone in the eye and tell them how thankful I am for their help, presence, and love. The shame is so overwhelming that I cannot bear to acknowledge that shame to others. If I were to express gratitude fully - that would mean admitting how scared or hurt I am. It would be paralyzing. Chances are, this is how families without a home may feel. What are our cultural expectations for giving thanks and appreciation and what might that mean for the other?
I write this to say that our congregation did this really big amazing thing! You all have lived into our Purpose and Vision in a way that is courageous and deeply authentic. I also write this to say that I acknowledge that The Apartment Project was hard and not what we had hoped for in all the ways.
My hope is that we don’t give up. My hope is that we continue to strive to make this an ongoing reality and mission and an ongoing expression of who we are with God’s grace. My hope is that we also come together and process our experience as a community. I have mentioned some things in this letter but I know I have not expressed all thoughts and feelings. If you have any questions or concerns or simply just want to talk about this ministry and work, please do not hesitate to reach out.
Our next board meeting will be March 10. We will invite Hannah Martin, our liaison to the COS Sanctuary Coalition, to join us for processing and closure. Everyone is invited to this part of the meeting beginning at 5pm. We will share the zoom link as we get closer.
And, next Saturday, February 27, 9-noon, we invite you to join us for The Apartment clean-up day. Wear a mask and keep your distance.
I am deeply grateful for all the skills, gifts, time, and resources that were put into this mission project. As dear Cindy Halsey (church member) said last week “it takes both the gifts of the Marthas and the Marys to do the work to unfold God’s kin-dom.” (Luke 10:38-42). She is right.
With Deep Gratitude,
Good and Faithful Servants,
Pastor Marta